The day had finally come. I was ready to get in there and delete the original footage. The original copy of Star Wars Episode One: The Phantom Menace. That way, they could never make another proper copy. It was something everyone deserved.
I was dressed the part; if you could call it that. As inconspicuous as I could possibly be. I probably appeared as the most unremarkable, boring man to ever walk the earth. Polo shirt, khaki pants, and loafers. Oh man, loafers are pretty much the most comfortable shoe in existence. They feel like walking on clouds. I could step on a bed of nails and never feel them. That’s how good the padding in these shoes are. I digress.
Riding the escalators through the complex, I finally caught sight of the building. I came at lunch time, right when many people were out an about for lunch; making it even easier to blend in.
Getting through the front doors was the easy part. They basically held the door open for me. I mean, random people probably came in all the time to the lobby for whatever reason. I was just another face. I gave a quick nod to the receptionist, making sure it seemed at all times that I was meant to be there from the beginning. That’s how you can get anywhere.
Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a security guard. He seemed bored to say the least; but I didn’t take any chances so I took the first turn away from him. I was in some sort of office space, probably not the best option. Luckily, the only two people out in the hall were distracted, the boss man yelling at his underling for whatever reason.
That’s when I spotted it; my chance. An elevator, just waiting open for me. The sole person inside even held the door for me. After a few floors, I popped out to, hoping to throw off anybody who might be following my movements. Finding myself among more desks, I just kept walking; ignoring the people up and about; probably wasting time on their lunch breaks.
I could have been anybody; a boyfriend bringing someone’s lunch from home, a delivery guy, some technician; nobody even gave me a second look. Moving into the core of the building, a slipped though a pair of doors, arriving in some sort of storage room. Jackpot. I looked around for any sort of sign. Documentaries. Dang, I would probably have to go up another level or so.
As I made my way out through doors on the opposite side of the room, I heard a shout. Hey you! I didn’t want to stick around to find out what they wanted. Running through the maze of desks, I seemed to lose the man, but apparently he had called for backup, as more guys showed up at seemingly every corner.
In one last ditch effort, I ran back to the elevator. Once again, as if by sheer luck, the doors were waiting open once again. I quickly ducked in, closing the door after me, and foiling the plans of any guards.
A few more levels up, I switched back to my ‘blend in’ mode, slinking through the halls as if I had been working there for years. I kept my head on a swivel, looking out for another possible storage room. As I arrived at a promising looking door, it opened before I could even react; revealing an upset looking guard behind it. I quickly tried to retreat, but he stared me down something ferocious, not letting me out of his sight.
At each turn, another guard appeared. I was cornered; on a balcony overlooking the lobby below. A glass railing, followed by a several story fall. Luckily, I still had my loafers on.
As I landed with a soft bounce, I could hear the guards shouting from way up above. Without hesitation, I turned tail and booked it out of there. I’ll foil you one day, George Lucas.
I’ve been listening to this song for several days now, and I wanted to narrate the video. It’s a lot of fun.
Fifty Shades of Grease Publishing 