A Doorstop Delivery

If It Were Only A Dragon [Chapter 9]

The march back from the old capital seemed longer than the journey there. I felt as if magic had failed us. Not that I was expecting for it to do much in the first place. Apart from their elemental powers and their possible undead armies. But we know how those prospects came out.

Nemona began to march beside me as the walls of the Royal Capital came into view. “You can’t rule out that sort of information, you know,” she said cryptically.

“Crawling into the rear end of a deadly beast?” I said back.

She shrugged. “I mean, you never know.”

I wiped the sweat from my brow and sighed. “I actually feel like I know less. Less about the entire world than I did just a couple of days ago. Like, who knew there were such beasts out there? Like of the old capital. Like how the elves have created a torture device called futo that tricks people into thinking it’s meat before they bite into the plainest, spongiest sandwich they’ve ever had.”

“Futo grows on you, I promise,” Nemona responded. “But I may have something else you and your men will be able to bring with you on your journey out east.”

“No thank you,” I said with a shake of my head, ready to wash my hands clean of her and any other mage.

“I beg you, Gladius,” she said with a tone that seemed she cared about people and not just her studies. “Something to keep your men from turning to embers of the battlefield. This very morning, I spoke with a particular wing of the Ministry of Magics to offer you a supply of something potent. They said it could be in front of the Guard’s Barracks tomorrow morning. Of course, with someone to demonstrate its properties.”

“That would be you, I imagine?” I sighed.

“Well, that’s beneath me,” Nemona shuttered. “No, I am actually departing about that time.”

“Once more? And to think, the other day I found you buried shoulder-deep in tomes. Now you wish to explore every corner of the kingdom.”

“You fool,” she said, turning her nose up at me. “I am departing for the east before your lot of clangy-armored sword-swingers can.”

“How could you?” I said, nearly stopping in place. “No proper knight of this land has armor that clangs about. That would mean that the armor is not properly fastened, and that would be an affront to all squires who see to that task. One may not tell by his demeanor, but my own attendant Eriques is quite the sensitive one.”

“Please offer him my apologies, then,” she said, wagging her head dramatically. “Regardless, I intend to seek out this dragon before the lot of you do.”

“You can’t be serious.”

“Elves don’t tell jokes, Mr. Warmaker. If dragons are as intelligent as they are said to be, then I may be able to reason with it. At worst, see what it desires.”

I glanced out to the east. Every inch of the land in front of my eyes; the hills, the trees, and the mountains beyond, seemed to be impossibly far away. Somewhere out that way, there was a deadly beast.

“You might bring the lad,” I said, glancing back to the necromancer being magically pulled along behind us, fast asleep. “Or perhaps he cannot revive you into undeath when your body has been burnt and bones turned into dust.”

“Wrong once again, Mr. Warmaker.”

“Again? Excuse me, when was I wrong before?”

“I’m sure you can think of a few times,” she shrugged. “No, the flames shall not touch me, for the powers of alchemy will protect my being.”

---

Early the next morning, I made my way down from my residence in the Minister’s district and found my way to the tall walls bordering the east side of town. Closer to the gates of the city was the barracks where the on-duty guards lived and trained.

Right after my induction to the ministry, I spent a whole week living out of the barracks to better understand the duty and lifestyle of such a knight. I mean, the intention was for it to be a week, but I returned home after three days. Obviously a man such as myself could never stand the rats and poor rations and single-wide beds and inane complaints from the populace while on duty. Not long after, my father got me appointed to the court of the king. Overseeing greater things from afar had been my duty since then. But this situation demanded more.

I came before the entrance to the barracks. The sole door was blocked with a wide pallet holding a strange collection of things, like little orbs all wrapped in ordinary paper. I heard a strange rattling nearby.

The windows of the barracks building shook, the force driven by the fists of men inside. I saw their desperate faces seem to cry out for help. “The door… is… blocked!” They seemed to mouth.

I made a note inside my head that I would contact the Ministry of Architecture and have them plan another door for us one day. Alas, we certainly didn’t have weeks to wait for the paperwork to work its way through the system and get the builders out here.

I tried my best to see if the pallet would move on its own. It didn’t, so I attempted just a bit of force. As you would guess, it refused to budge still. I stood up on the edge of the wooden base and looked up top to see about pulling it down piece by piece.

Lounged at the very top of the pallet was a man, or rather, an elf, very much asleep. I jumped up on my tiptoes and smacked him the best I could. “Huh? Who? Where am I? Oh, of course.”

I stepped back and allowed him to roll off. He landed like a cat on the street pavers below. He had a bald head and tiny rectangular glasses that he squinted at me through. His face and clothes seemed dirty, covered with a wash of dark dust or smoke. Of course, he had those strange ears, as well.

“Are you here to accept this delivery?” he asked groggily, jutting a thumb at the pallet.

“In a manner of speaking,” I nodded, glancing at the pile, then the windows, ensuring the men inside of my attempts to free them.

The elf clicked his tongue. “About time. Listen here, dude, do you understand the rush that got put on this order? We’ve been up all night brewing and packing this stuff. And then I show up and like, there’s nobody here to even say a word to me. It’s like we didn’t even need to be here so early.”

“Well, I’m sure my allies would have loved to show themselves, but unfortunately, they are quite stuck,” I said, glancing at the window back and forth to give the elf a hint. “Just right behind this particular door.”

The elf leaned back on his arms, stretching his back and wandering about the delivery. He looked at the windows, all the men’s faces pressed against it. He looked at the frame of the door he was blocking. He looked at me and nodded.

“Just as I thought. You lot rely too much on doors and the like.”

I nodded in unison with him. “Just one of the things one must deal with when being born without magical talents. Speaking of which, you could use that power to move that out of the way, couldn’t you?”

The elf stifled a yawn with his hand before waving at the load with the other. It lifted just slightly off the ground and then drifted to the side like a fallen leaf picked up by the wind. The door of the barracks slammed open. The trapped guards frolicked and shoved their hands up to the sky.

Eriques, my Squire, was among them. He found me and dashed my way immediately, slapping me multiple times on the shoulder with far too hard a blow. “Our savior, Gladius!”

I rubbed at my arm and greeted him. “Well, for you to be here this morning too. Surprising to see the initiative, frankly.”

Eriques perked up all of a sudden. “That is because something has happened! It is… erm…”

“Spit it out,” I directed.

“I, uh, forgot.”

I hardly had time to lament over my squire’s poor memory before the elf was back to business. “Well, now that I’ve got my audience, I am bound to give a demo, or whatever. Sir Gladius, it was? Can you tell your men to knock off the glares?”

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